Worries and Concerns
There may be challenging moments in our lives where one would have to be a robot not to be worried. You may be given really scary news that could be really alarming. I’ve been there and somehow some part of me went “okay the outcome looks really dreadful and yet maybe it won’t be as bad as they say.” And sometimes, the outcome may be as unwanted as predicted. If anyone were to tell me nothing unwanted ever happens, in my opinion we must not be on the same planet! However there are times where our minds can take over and amplify our worries to the point of undue stress and tension and sleepless nights. It is not like we have a magic button we can press to only have good things happen in our lives. We do have a different kind of magic button, it is called our mindset, our attitude. We can either tune into the ‘doom and gloom’ channel or the ‘no matter what happens I’ll still manage channel.’ To be able to tune in to the latter channel requires some inner work. If we have overcome some disastrous situations in our lives and came out okay in spite of our fears that is a big help. However if all we can focus on is how we did not manage well in a challenging situation, that naturally adds to our worries! One of my mentors calls it ‘becoming hootless’, not giving a hoot as the more we are able to say ‘so what’ to something as opposed to the dreading words of ‘what if’, the more we are able to handle an uncertain future without undue worry.
The day I realized that worries carried energy, unwanted energy, I spent the whole day downgrading my worries to concerns. Years ago I read a quote which said “worrying about the future is like paying interest on a bank loan you don’t have”. Wow, in my early years, I must have paid many energy banks lots of energy interest. I used to lie awake at night rehearsing conversations I would be having with someone. ‘Well I’m going to say “A” to her and if she replies “B” then I am going to say “C”, But hey, what if she says “D”? Well then I am going to say “G” and so on. I call this making casseroles. I could spend hours stewing over imagined scenarios! I have since come to the realization that worrying is not an energy that supports change. And it sure feeds the negative channel! Also worrying perpetuates the existing situation, it’s like a self-fulfilling prophecy. So how do we get off this worry channel? Firstly, instead of worrying about what unwanted event may happen, how about spending the same energy on focusing on a desired outcome no matter how unrealistic or impossible that may seem? My mantra of “ even though I may have no clue how this is going to work out well, I choose it to” works in many cases. Bear in mind, the ‘work out well’ comes cloaked at times and requires hindsight before it can be really appreciated. The silver lining to the cloud may be a gift of learning only to been seen later! What I do appreciate is that solutions may be forthcoming that are way beyond any realms of my imagination. Hence the ‘even though I may have no clue’ part of my mantra.
Using Heart Metta can be really helpful too as it can nip some worries in the bud before they fully bloom. Often it is not the worry we may have that causes the stress, it may be a trigger to a deeper issue which once resolved disarms the trigger. Using Heart Metta assists us to come back to centre, to connect to the bigger picture of ourselves and serves to remind us just how resilient we can be and how resourceful we can be at problem solving. It assists us to focus on solutions and desired outcomes instead of fears and dread. Are you ready to downgrade worries you may have to concerns? That’s the first step to becoming ‘hootless.’
May all you develop your ‘hootlessness’ with ease and grace!