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Why Insight Isn’t Always Enough – And What Finally Frees You

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By Sandra Sweetman

SSDD Moments: Recognizing the Loop

We have those moments – times when we get a big “aha” from identifying what I call an SSDD moment: same stuff, different day, or when we’re totally irritated or frustrated and say, same s#t, different day!

It can feel good to spot the pattern, however insight alone doesn’t mean we stop repeating it. The people in the movie of our life may change, the situations too – and yet the theme gets recycled again and again. We get through whatever challenge it is, pick ourselves up, brush off the dust, and move forward. Sometimes boldly. Other times, more gingerly. And then there are times we’re just bruised and tired and stop even trying. We remain stuck.

If that stuckness were simply a pause, it might be tolerable. More often, it becomes a loop. No matter which direction we turn, it feels like there’s an invisible banana peel waiting for us. Crash. Here we go again.

Why Awareness Isn’t Enough

We may end up blaming ourselves. We question our growth, our strength, perhaps even our spiritual progress. Despite all the mindset work, self-reflection, or therapy, we still feel like we’re circling the same drain. Why doesn’t insight free us?

Because insight is only the beginning. Awareness is powerful, yet incomplete.

What if you have already done the inner work and still find yourself in loop mode?
By that I mean: you’re in situations you thought were behind you or you are still bothered by things you figured wouldn’t trigger you anymore.

Even when we have done deep personal work, old loops can remain. We assume that insight means we’re done, yet we’re often still operating from unconscious rules that we agreed to. Rules like we should stay small, please others, avoid conflict, or be endlessly accommodating, even at our own expense.

The Hidden Rules That Shape Us

These patterns don’t come from who we are now. They come from what we inherited – family systems, cultural expectations, childhood survival strategies, or past experiences that shaped us without our knowing. And until we see them and dissolve them, they will keep tripping us up.

Through my own personal journey, I began uncovering these hidden rules, deep agreements I didn’t even realize I had made. I was able to identify hidden patterns I had no clue were running. These were deep and complex and often rooted in outdated rules I never chose consciously.

Rewriting the Rules

True change begins when we rewrite those rules and choose new ones – ones that align with who we are now.
Freedom comes from living by our own inner truth, not by agreements we never meant to make.

I remember one of my mentors once said to me:
Sandra, you’ve had to deal with a lot of tragedy. Why do you think that is?
I replied, I guess at some level I agreed to this life script.
He paused and said, Who said you had to agree?

And honestly, I had never realized that disagreement was even an option.

Growing up, saying no – especially to authority – wasn’t something you did. I still remember crying silently into a bowl of tomato soup because I wasn’t allowed to leave the table until I finished it. I did finish it… with salty tears mixed in.
I endured it. That was the rule.

Now, I no longer have to eat tomato soup. It sounds small, but being able to say no now, even to something that simple, means I can also say no to situations or requests where I would have once said yes just to keep the peace.
That’s a game-changer.

Choosing Self-Care Over Old Patterns

How many times have you said yes when your inner self was screaming no?
What if being authentic isn’t rude or selfish – and actually self-care?

Insight is powerful.
What really brings about change is choosing a new way forward.

The Birth of Life Unbounded

The past few months, this theme has been showing up in my sessions over and over – people bumping into the same invisible blocks they thought they had outgrown. They know they want situations to be different, and yet actually daring to step onto a different path is overwhelming or too intimidating for many of them.

After assisting so many to identify and clear these hidden blocks, it occurred to me to create a course – Life Unbounded – so more people could find a way out of being in the loop.

What Makes Life Unbounded Different

What sets Life Unbounded apart is that it’s not just about “aha” moments – it is about clearing what has been buried, so you can move forward with greater freedom, clarity, and momentum.

If you are ready to dissolve outdated rules and choose the life that truly fits you, check out the course page here: https://sandrasweetman.com/life-unbounded/

Have you ever had an insight that didn’t lead to change?
Or discovered an inner “rule” you didn’t even know you were following?

I would love to hear your experience.

And Greatness is for All

And Greatness is for All

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This morning, as I was journaling, a simple yet powerful phrase arrived unannounced:
“And Greatness is for ALL.”

Over the years, I’ve learned that when messages like this come through, seemingly out of nowhere, it’s worth pausing to listen. Rather than dismissing them, I tune in to my inner wisdom (what some may call intuition) and gently follow the thread to see where it leads.

So what does it mean – Greatness is for all?

Does it suggest that good things come to everyone, regardless of their choices?
Is it inviting me to reflect on where I may still be playing small?
Is it nudging me to dare even more boldly than I already do?

Before I attempted to answer any of these questions, I paused to reflect on a deeper one:
What does “Greatness” actually mean to me?

I thought of a dear friend who, whenever asked how he’s doing, always replies with a bright, unwavering:“Great!” No matter the circumstance.

At first, I’ll admit, it rubbed me the wrong way. It felt inauthentic. Over time, I came to understand the deeper truth beneath his response.
When life throws challenges his way, he doesn’t ignore them, he simply doesn’t live in them. He places his focus on solutions, not problems.

He once told me about a painful condition resurfacing, and how his eyesight had deteriorated to the point where he could no longer drive. Still, his answer remained the same: “I’m great.” Because even amidst the hardship, he chose to engage with life from a place of possibility rather than limitation.

And that, to me, is Greatness.

Greatness isn’t loud. It isn’t flashy.
It’s not about accolades, performance, or outward achievement.

Greatness is when we thrive, rather than simply survive.
It’s when we choose to dissolve limiting beliefs instead of staying defined by them.
It’s when we show up as our whole, authentic selves – unapologetically.
It’s when we acknowledge the moments we need support and recognize that as courage, not weakness.

Greatness lives in honesty, in resilience, in compassion.
It lives in the quiet moments where we say yes to growth, even when it’s uncomfortable.
And it lives in every one of us – whether we believe it yet or not.

As I sit with this today, countless examples of Greatness come to mind.
What arises in you as you begin to embrace your own?

Because yes—Greatness is for ALL.

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The Permanence of Impermanency

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It’s summer here in Canada, and I’ve gifted myself a new kind of summer experience: my own version of summer camp.

Rather than staying at our ever-nourishing family farm full-time, I’ve chosen a semi-reclusive rhythm by settling into a little cabin on a friend’s property. I say “semi-reclusive” because I still plan to return to the farm a couple of times a month to spend time with my daughter, her family, and all the animals. Honestly, I’ve lost count of how many goats and chickens we have now, and this past month, three cows delivered the most beautiful calves. There’s always something blossoming there.

I’ve been at the cabin for just over two weeks now and am beginning to feel at home. Yesterday, I spent a good chunk of time learning to be patient with myself while assembling a laptop desk, office chair and plant shelf. For most people, it might have been a quick job. For me? Let’s just say it was a slow and slightly comedic bonding experience with an Allen key and screwdriver.

Any other kindred spirits out there who break into a cold sweat at the sight of flat-packed furniture?

I’ve come to accept that I’m not exactly handy and that’s okay. Still, I wanted to create a little “office” space here, so I gave it a go. And I’m quite pleased with the result.

“I am free of the need to be intimidated by all these parts!”

I’ve come to accept that I’m not exactly handy and that’s okay. Still, I wanted to create a little “office” space here, so I gave it a go. After surviving the Great Assembly Challenge, I felt the final product earned a starring role as this post’s featured image!

This morning, while sipping tea and journaling, something interesting surfaced. Even though I was so pleased with my furniture assembly achievements, a part of me was feeling unsettled. I went into Heart Metta mode and discovered I had a part yearning for permanency. For the past 23 years, “home” has been wherever I hang my hat. I’ve always been good at settling in, whether it’s crashing on a friend’s couch, house-sitting, staying in hotels, or luxuriating in a peaceful Airbnb. I love having that freedom to roam.

So where was this sudden ache for permanence coming from?

I went deeper with Heart Metta and tuned into the voice of that wistful part. What I heard surprised me:
“You are always on the move, you only stay in one place for a matter of months at best!”

That landed. I followed the thread and traced it back to when I was unexpectedly uprooted from Canada as a child, suddenly on a boat to Hong Kong with my mother and siblings, no warning, no goodbyes. That early disruption shaped so much of how I relate to home and movement. I’ll share more about that chapter another time, and what I will say now is that event led to my not seeing my father for 43 years. Life brought us back together in a remarkable way, and I was at his bedside when he passed just months after we reunited. There was closure.

I’m sharing all this as a reminder that we are layered beings. Who would have thought putting together a few pieces of furniture would bring up so much? I’m deeply grateful for Heart Metta. It helped me meet this tender part with compassion. She’s settled now. She understands that impermanency is, in its own way, permanent. And with that, all parts of me are on board for this next chapter.

What has impermanency stirred in you lately?

🌟 Want to share your reflections or join the conversation?
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✨ [Join here] – I’d love to hear what this stirred in you.

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When Science Meets Spirit: The Power of Ritual for True Release

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Not everything that transforms us can be measured in numbers.
Some truths live in the space between science and spirit—in the quiet moments of intention, in the stillness after letting go.

I’ve always been deeply intuitive. From early childhood, I sensed energy, connection, and the quiet pull of the unseen.
My first career was as a physiotherapist, stepping into a world grounded in science, anatomy, and clinical evidence. But to me, these worlds were never in opposition.

I never saw those two worlds as separate.
Instead, I saw them as allies—each offering something vital on the path to wholeness.

One of the turning points in my own journey came during a weekend workshop called Journey into Spirit with the late Dr. Jeanne Achterberg, a true pioneer in the field of mind-body medicine. She, like me, believed in bridging the gap between what we can measure and what we can feel.

At the time I was carrying a deep emotional wound. I had explored it, talked about it, and tried to move on from it for years—but the weight remained. Despite all the therapeutic tools I had, I was still holding on to a sense of injustice that wouldn’t release.

During that weekend, Jeanne guided us through a ritual of emotional clearing. We were invited to write down whatever was unresolved—unsaid words, old pain, unspoken truths—without self-censorship. I let it all spill onto the page.

Then I watched that paper burn.

There was something profoundly healing in that act—of naming the pain, honouring it, and then offering it to the flame. I had no expectations, but as the fire consumed the shredded page, something shifted. I felt lighter. More free.
The emotional charge I had carried for so long… lifted—completely.

It was as though the fire didn’t just burn the paper—it carried away the weight I had been holding.

Right after that, I revisited the memory of the event—and to my astonishment, there was no pain left.
Days later, I checked again. The healing had lasted.

Even now, decades later, I can remember what happened—and there is no sting. Just the knowing: someone had misunderstood me deeply and carried that misperception to his grave. And I can honestly say… that no longer matters.
I know my truth. And that’s all that matters.

Ritual as a Tool for Integration

That moment marked the beginning of a deeper relationship with ritual. I’ve since expanded my practice to include both full moon and new moon ceremonies—for myself, and in the communities I serve.

These practices aren’t about belief systems or religion.
They’re not “fluffy” or “woo-woo.”

They are conscious, grounded acts of communication with the deeper self.

  • Full moon rituals assist us to release what no longer serves.
  • New moon rituals assist us to welcome in new beginnings.

They create sacred space to pause, reflect, and realign.

In a world that urges us to analyze more, do more, and move faster—ritual invites us to slow down.
To simply be with what is.
And from that space, transformation naturally arises.

A Path of Wholeness

Over the years, I’ve moved from physical therapy into what I call quantum physical therapies—modalities that work with energy, intention, and vibrational alignment.

I carry everything I learned in the clinical world with me.
That strong scientific foundation, combined with my sensitivity and spiritual training, is what allows me to hold space both deeply and safely for others.

Whether I’m teaching, mentoring, or supporting someone in private work, I hold both:
The science and the sacred.
The physical systems and the energetic planes.
The method and the mystery.

Because they were never meant to be separate.

If you’ve ever felt like your healing didn’t fit into a box—know this: you’re not alone.
And if something inside you responds to ritual, trust that response.
Sometimes, the softest tools hold the deepest power.

“The past doesn’t always need to be solved—sometimes, it only needs to be surrendered.”

And the moment we choose to let go… is the moment we begin to return to peace.

May peace prevail,
Sandra

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Why Listening to Yourself Could Revolutionize Your Productivity Approach

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Ever felt like your relentless drive for productivity only leaves you feeling more overwhelmed and stuck? The truth is, finding harmony between effort and rest is essential for overcoming resistance and achieving genuine results. In this article, I’ll share how I learned to stop being impatient with myself for avoiding tasks — and how that shift led to a surprising surge in my productivity levels. Get ready to discover insights that may help you reframe your approach to work, making your journey more enjoyable and fulfilling.

The Whisper of Inner Guidance

There are moments when our inner guidance whispers softly, yet profoundly, offering truths we may not have realized we were ready to hear. Recently, during a journaling session, my guidance revealed something I hadn’t fully acknowledged: I had been pushing myself too hard.

There were days when I didn’t complete everything on my to-do list, and instead of embracing the natural ebb and flow of life, I found myself growing impatient. That impatience stirred something unexpected — an inner rebel who resisted even more.

Uncovering the Resistance

Curious about what was driving this pattern, I turned to a Heart Metta session to explore my impatience. As I softened into the process, I tapped into the underlying cause of my irritation and began to shift it.

I received a gentle reminder that when we push ourselves beyond what feels natural, we create resistance. The more I tried to force things into place, the more my inner rebel pushed back, creating a cycle of frustration and unfinished tasks. My inner wisdom suggested a different path: to soften, to be kinder to myself, and to trust the rhythm of life.

Nature’s Wisdom: Go with the Flow

Nature doesn’t rush. The tides ebb and flow. The moon waxes and wanes. Trees don’t force their leaves to bud before the right season — even though the timing of seasons seems to be getting confusing sometimes.

So why do we expect ourselves to operate any differently?

By releasing the pressure I was placing on myself, I began to reconnect with the flow of life. I realized that when we listen to the natural rhythm of our energy, things begin to unfold more smoothly. Productivity isn’t about constant pushing; it’s about aligning with the currents rather than swimming against them.

The Gift of Softening

This message felt like a gift — a gentle invitation to pause, breathe, and honour where I am. Perhaps you’ve felt this too: the weight of expectations, the pressure to check every box, the impatience when things don’t move as quickly as you’d hoped.

But what if we allowed ourselves the grace to move with life instead of forcing it?

In giving myself permission to ease into this rhythm, I began to find a different kind of accomplishment — one that felt lighter and more peaceful. Tasks got done not through force, but through flow. The inner rebel quietened, replaced by a sense of harmony.

Unexpected Productivity: A Shift in Perspective

Interestingly, as soon as I embraced this shift, my day became more productive. Two tasks that had been lingering on my back burner for days were suddenly completed in just a couple of hours.

Who would have thought that by easing off the pressure, we could actually move forward with greater ease?

A Gentle Reminder

If you’ve been feeling that inner push-and-pull, perhaps this is your reminder too: be gentle with yourself. Trust that you are exactly where you need to be, and everything will unfold in perfect timing.

The more we soften, the more we align with the currents of life. In that alignment, true balance is found.

Wishing you ease and balance,
Sandra 💖

Welcome merry Christmas and Happy new year in 2022 with Man jumping.

Message for 2022

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2021 has been a year of stretching and growing and we have seen that in a multitude of ways.  For anyone used to sticking to a routine it has been challenging as events seem to change from one moment to the next. Long term plans rapidly became short term and we have all been asked to adapt to this. Many of you are familiar with the statement I ask myself when faced with a challenge. It is one I was introduced to by a dear mentor many years ago. The question to ask is “ What energy is required to support positive change?”
What I have been sensing for several weeks now is that the energy required to support positive change in 2022 is to EMBRACE the CHANGES! What does this mean exactly? Are we meant to give up, resign ourselves to a life of compromise and ‘lesser thans’? Absolutely not! The message is loud and clear: continue to have goals and aspirations and now add one other factor – open up to the possibilities not of different goals, rather open up to other ways and methods of attaining those goals!  Methods that are way beyond the realms of your imagination! As I am preparing this message to record it for YouTube where I usually post these year end messages, I am now sensing it does not have to be posted there and to simply upload it to my website. There is no need to make a voice recording at all! My mind wants to ask “ isn’t it easier for people to watch a video and listen to the message? Isn’t that more convenient?” There are times that it is not about what’s easiest or most convenient. I already know that those who are meant to see this message will find it.
As we embrace change instead of fighting it, we will be provided with many opportunities to astound ourselves with our abilities to not only survive challenges, we will discover we can thrive in spite of them!  2022 is shaping up to bring in sweeping changes that do not have to be daunting, that do not have to instil fear in us. There is already a lot of movement afoot. New jobs, new residences to explore and most of all, finding the ‘new embracing change’ you. This is not actually a new you, it is your original you. We all have our divine blueprint, are you living yours already and if not, will you embrace change in 2022 and set out on your journey? I am guided to end with this quote by Ralph Waldo Emerson “Once you make a decision, the Universe conspires to make it happen.” The intentions and decisions are what are important, not how you have to make what you want happen.
Many blessings for 2022 and beyond![/caption]

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Full Moon and Call to Action

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The last full moon of the year is December 19 and for the past few days I have heard from several people that they have felt more emotional or situations have become more intense. We may attribute this to the present pandemic situation with numbers rising globally and general fatigue with the challenge that appears to be unwilling to go away. I also sense with this full moon we are being reminded to do our final internal housekeeping for this year.
Usually the full moon is an ideal time to make your list of what it is you wish to discard. Notice this is about ourselves, it is not about eliminating a person you’d rather see out of your life.
We are used to goals we have for a new year – what we what to achieve or attain. Full moons are about listing the events and energies that no longer serve us and then getting rid of the list.  What do you want to change for yourself – what would you like to decrease? Frustration?  Impatience? Fears? Lack of Motivation? Intolerance? This is the ideal time to make that list of all the events and situations that are energy depleting instead of energy supporting. After you have made your list, either shred it into tiny  pieces or safely burn it. (Please include the appropriate fire prevention actions if you are going to burn it.)
Burning the list or shredding it often gives us the physical support of intention. It is an indication that we are inviting ourselves to take the steps to bring about positive change.
I am already sensing that next year is about embracing change and truly letting go of any idea that somehow things are going to be back to what they were a couple of years ago. Embracing change can be a positive experience even when it  is unsettling  when we are unaware of what the future will bring. You can settle yourself by taking an active role to bring about positive change instead of simply hoping things will turn out better. This morning I was hosting a class and one of the topics was standards to develop for yourself. Reading some old notes as I was preparing for this class I came across these sentences paraphrased from a coaching academy:
“Standards are what you do for yourself or behaviours to which you are willingly to adhere to. To live without standards is to place yourself at the whims of chance, others, and the world.”
Allow this full moon to be a time to review the standards you want for yourself – where are you compromising your honesty with yourself, your integrity? The list is much longer than those two items and if you find you are attracted to so some more internal housekeeping with assistance, feel free to contact me. According to my intuition, this particular window of opportunity for change will start to shut down on February 2, 2022, the second day of the lunar new year. This does not mean change is impossible after that, of course it is. Right now the winds of change are blowing at their most efficient, making for much easier sailing.  And the energy of this full moon is providing a lot of support for that. Will you make your list and take an active step towards positive change? I’m grabbing my pen and a piece of paper and starting now!   

with thanks to Kirk Carr for allowing me to use his photo. 

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Looking Forward

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How does one keep positive when surrounded by negative news, alarming information and being unable to literally move forward without any restrictions? Perhaps restrictions were always in place and we didn’t notice them as much because there were more options available. For example, visiting another country and being allowed to stay always had restrictions. You may have been allowed in with a visa for a short vacation of a few weeks or three months or even six. While it may have been a preference to stay for a longer period, it was understood that the duration of the stay was stamped in a passport and unless an extension was granted the departure date was to be upheld. Right now, there is no duration of stay restrictions, instead entry to many countries is still limited to residents so travel to those places is out of the question. A natural way of being positive is to let go of disappointment and frustration and hold the idea of “ I look forward to when…” That is certainly more healthy than holding on to frustration and anger and disappointment. Most would agree with me when I say energy follows intent. So, intending for what you desire should serve to feed the positive. I have discovered that it really is about the energy of the intention. Saying one is looking forward to something while feeling frustrated and disappointed with your present situation actually means you are paying interest to the bank of disappointment and frustration. What is more effective energy-wise is to look at the present circumstances, acknowledge how you feel and then do the work to dissolve the charge. Often simply acknowledgement will dissolve the charge, fighting or suppressing unwanted feelings can make them stronger as when you push them away, they push back, sometimes even more strongly. There are times when we can handle this on our own and work through it and at other times we may need the assistance of another person to show us a different perspective. In addition, looking forward to change is positive unless your energy and focus jumps to the future and stays there. Things look great in the future and yet day to day events show little or no change. My ever handy question comes to mind: what energy is required to support change? In this case I would suggest these steps: A) own what you find upsetting and work through it to dissolve the charge. It is unnecessary to like what is happening in the moment, it is helpful to stop hating it. B) Ask what you can do in the present to make the present less undesirable. You may amaze yourself how creative you are when you put on your ‘present solutions’ hat. C) Ask yourself what this opportunity of learning and discovery your present situation is offering you. You may be getting a big picture message that you have yet to see!  And as you open up to the possibility that positive change is possible even when things look pretty well cast in stone, you may look around and find a gem of a pebble right by you that you can pick up and polish into something awesome. What are your strategies for positive change? I’d love to hear them. If you prefer to answer privately instead of posting below, feel free to email me via the contact form on this website.

Photo by Daniel Lerman on Unsplash

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Pro-peace or anti-war?

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These days we seem to have many situations which incite protestors and many challenges to surmount. I am not sure if they are more abundant or whether it is simply that protestors now have so many more ways more ways to be visible thanks to social media platforms and the internet. 
I recall one workshop I took with of my mentors almost two decades ago where he asked us to list all our protests and dissolve them. My initial reaction was – “What? I care about these issues passionately and you are asking me to let them go?!” Before I could start protesting about that, he went on to explain what he meant. Now, years later and a hopefully a lot wiser from my experiences I can sense the difference in the energies of being for or being against something. Do you fight against what you don’t want or do you spend your energy promoting what you want to see happen? It may seem like we are splitting hairs and yet energetically I sense a big difference. I think it was Einstein who said there was no such thing as cold. Of course we feel can feel cold ( therefore it surely exists? ) The explanation is that cold is a description of temperature. And cold is an absence of heat. Heat is created when atoms and molecules vibrate. The more they vibrate and collide, the higher the temperature.  When you add water to a glass of ice cubes, the water molecules collide with the ice particles and kinetic energy is transferred and the water gets colder and the ice gets warmer until a kinetic equilibrium is reached and the energy transfer stops. The total amount of energy transferred is called heat. We could go into a lot more detail as to what happens next only it isn’t necessary to revisit a school lesson! The reason I am bringing this up is to relate it to positive and negative energies. People may refer to those and light and dark energies, love and hate. Now you are beginning to see where I am headed. Hate is an absence of love. We sure see hate-filled attitudes and behaviours. (Or are those in fact love-emptied?) When we relate them to the ‘temperature’ analogy, we see that hate in itself does not exist, it is like cold, an absence of something, in this case an absence of love. 
So what is the point of this article and what does it have to do with being pro-peace or anti-war? Or pro or anti anything?  When we are fighting against something, in my mind, we are giving it energy. We are the water, what we are fighting against is the ice cube. Well you can say, that’s great, the ice cube melts!  Ah, that would be great if that’s how it works and the water stayed the same temperature . When we fight against something, like the water in the glass, our hearts become cooler and cooler. When angry and protesting, it feeds the negative energy exactly what it wants: more anger, more protests!! It thrives on this energy!! And it gets bigger!  It is not like water in a glass with ice cubes, It is like adding more ice to the glass instead of water. 
Now back to my mentor and dissolving protests and back to one of my favourite questions I ask myself when faced with an undesirable situation: “what energy is required to support change?” 
When we look at a challenge from that viewpoint, we give energy to what we desire instead of losing energy to what we don’t want. It may seem like we are spitting hairs – next time you are upset about something, whatever it is, it is  important to acknowledge how you feel and then, may I suggest, instead of feeding anger and frustration, ask yourself what is needed to support positive change. Check out and see if that puts you in the pro, energy enhancing situation instead of in the anti, energy depleting one. And don’t we all want to be full of vitality rather than feeling tired and depleted? It is important to stay passionate and stand up for what we believe in, instead of losing energy fighting against what we don’t. That is why when people send me messages full of angry rants and negative indignation about the world at large I do not reply. I care deeply! I’ll spend my energy on what I want to promote. And in those occasions when I find myself sliding down the slope of being anti-something

When we look at a challenge from that viewpoint, we give energy to what we desire instead of losing energy to what we don’t want. While it may seem like there is no difference, next time you are upset about something, whatever it is, it is  important to acknowledge how you feel and then, may I suggest, instead of feeding anger and frustration, ask yourself what is needed to support positive change. Check out and see if that puts you in the pro, energy enhancing vibrational frequency instead of in the anti, energy depleting one. And don’t we all want to be full of vitality rather than feeling tired and depleted? It is important to stay passionate and energized and stand up for what we believe in instead of losing energy fighting against what we don’t. That is why when people send me messages full of angry rants and negative indignation about the world at large I do not reply. I care deeply! I’ll spend my energy on what I want to promote. And for those occasions when I might find myself about to slide down the slope of being anti-something I have already set the intention to be aware of that and stop in my tracks to reframe the moment and give peace a chance.

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Worries and Concerns

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There may be challenging moments in our lives where one would have to be a robot not to be worried. You may be given really scary news that could be really alarming. I’ve been there and somehow some part of me went “okay the outcome looks really dreadful and yet maybe it won’t be as bad as they say.” And sometimes, the outcome may be as unwanted as predicted. If anyone were to tell me nothing unwanted ever happens, in my opinion we must not be on the same planet! However there are times where our minds can take over and amplify our worries to the point of undue stress and tension and sleepless nights. It is not like we have a magic button we can press to only have good things happen in our lives. We do have a different kind of magic button, it is called our mindset, our attitude. We can either tune into the ‘doom and gloom’ channel or the ‘no matter what happens I’ll still manage channel.’ To be able to tune in to the latter channel requires some inner work. If we have overcome some disastrous situations in our lives and came out okay in spite of our fears that is a big help. However if all we can focus on is how we did not manage well in a challenging situation, that naturally adds to our worries! One of my mentors calls it ‘becoming hootless’, not giving a hoot as the more we are able to say ‘so what’ to something as opposed to the dreading words of ‘what if’, the more we are able to handle an uncertain future without undue worry.

The day I realized that worries carried energy, unwanted energy, I spent the whole day downgrading my worries to concerns. Years ago I read a quote which said “worrying about the future is like paying interest on a bank loan you don’t have”. Wow, in my early years, I must have paid many energy banks lots of energy interest. I used to lie awake at night rehearsing conversations I would be having with someone. ‘Well I’m going to say “A” to her and if she replies “B” then I am going to say “C”, But hey, what if she says “D”? Well then I am going to say “G” and so on. I call this making casseroles. I could spend hours stewing over imagined scenarios! I have since come to the realization that worrying is not an energy that supports change. And it sure feeds the negative channel! Also worrying perpetuates the existing situation, it’s like a self-fulfilling prophecy. So how do we get off this worry channel? Firstly, instead of worrying about what unwanted event may happen, how about spending the same energy on focusing on a desired outcome no matter how unrealistic or impossible that may seem? My mantra of “ even though I may have no clue how this is going to work out well, I choose it to” works in many cases. Bear in mind, the ‘work out well’ comes cloaked at times and requires hindsight before it can be really appreciated. The silver lining to the cloud may be a gift of learning only to been seen later! What I do appreciate is that solutions may be forthcoming that are way beyond any realms of my imagination. Hence the ‘even though I may have no clue’ part of my mantra.

Using Heart Metta can be really helpful too as it can nip some worries in the bud before they fully bloom. Often it is not the worry we may have that causes the stress, it may be a trigger to a deeper issue which once resolved disarms the trigger. Using Heart Metta assists us to come back to centre, to connect to the bigger picture of ourselves and serves to remind us just how resilient we can be and how resourceful we can be at problem solving. It assists us to focus on solutions and desired outcomes instead of fears and dread. Are you ready to downgrade worries you may have to concerns? That’s the first step to becoming ‘hootless.’

May all you develop your ‘hootlessness’ with ease and grace!

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