Patience and Irritation
In talking with several people this week it seems like many are experiencing trying moments, including myself. It isn’t necessary to talk about the actual situations as although the stories may be different, the themes are all the same. Is there something going on in your life that is really frustrating right now? Are you tired of service calls where you seem to be talking to robots? (I had a call where it may have been easier if I had been dealing with a real robot!) What is the best way to deal with these moments where our mirrors may be getting polished and yet every rub seems to be the wrong way? We all can relate to these moments where we react to situations, our hackles rise and our patience goes out the window. It’s all very well to recognize these situations as being ‘opportunities to grow’, that does not help when the adjective we want to use begins with f and the word isn’t fabulous! You may already have ways to diffuse your irritation that work for you. If you are dealing well with these moments, good job and keep it up! If however you are finding things are getting to you more than you’d like here are a few suggestions using a Heart Metta approach.
Find a spot where you will not be disturbed and place your right hand in the Heart Metta position for all tubes steps listed below. If you are unfamiliar with this you can email me to request my Heart Metta e-book which outlines the Heart Metta steps and includes an illustration of where to place your hand.
Step 1. Acknowledgment
When we pretend all is fine when it isn’t, we simply push that irritation elsewhere and end up with a headache or some other discomfort and the problem does not get solved. When we own that something irritated us, often that will take off a large part of the charge. Having acknowledged this, it is important to move on to the next step instead of getting caught up in the angst.
Step 2. Putting the incident into the past.
Even if something happened only moments ago and we are still stewing, it is already in the past. We can say something like “even though I may still be upset, and even though the situation may not be fully resolved, the incident happened and is in the past and I while it still may be bothering me I am okay”. This will help stop that broken record feeling of us reliving the moment blow by blow.
Step 3. Choosing a positive option.
Here you can choose to let it go and if not ready to do so fully, you can go a bit deeper and look at why the situation was so upsetting. Usually, the situation is a trigger for us to delve into a deeper issue or hurt. Perhaps it reminds us of some other situation in our lives where we felt disempowered or it could be stirring up past hurts that we buried. From my experience with doing these steps on my own it is unlikely you will uncover something that is too much for you to handle as we usually protect ourselves from that. Instead you may find that you draw a blank and don’t get any further insight as to what is triggering you. That’s where working with someone else is useful so you can be guided appropriately to work though some deeper issues.
Step 4. An additional option.
Sometimes when Step 3 does not produce the results we would like, it is helpful to do some core reprogramming with words like “All the origins of this problem are healing now” or “ I choose to heal whatever caused this problem in the first place”. The good thing is that there is no need to go into the ‘story’ or spend a lot of time trying to figure out what caused the problem in the first place. There is no need to examine the trash before throwing it out!
Step 5. Forgiveness.
This seals the deal! While you may not be ready to do the forgiveness step – forgiving yourself and anyone else you may have blamed, holding back from doing this leaves a door open to past hurts and also can create an energy drain to the past. Forgiveness is not something we can force, it comes with understanding and compassion and this is a step where some outside assistance is necessary before being able to move on. Step 6 can still be done without having completed Step 5, it will simply mean some inner work is still required at a later date in order to completely put the issue to rest.
Step 6.Returning to harmony.
Set the intention to allow yourself to return to harmony at all levels of your being ( physical, emotional, mental and spiritual), free from your past. Again, there is no need to know how to do this, allowing is the key. If you sense a part of you is not allowing yourself to do this, this is an indication that some other inner work is required.
Got questions or comments? Please post them below.
May we all polish our mirrors with ease and grace!